Force Humility

- two words that popped in my head a few weeks ago after following a “debate” on a fire fighting social media page. I know...big shocker! Squabbling has become common place on social media, but this one involved a person I admire and work with. I felt he was being wrongly attacked and bullied. Before responding
I needed some time. Some time to check myself. I did not want to respond driven by emotion and the need to defend a colleague. I am not interested in rehashing this debate or attacking any one person.
I want to offer an alternative to the EGO driven bravado that I recognized in that debate. The alternative? FORCE HUMILITY.

Ego is a deterrent to learning and bettering one self. Ego is a detriment to ANY relationship, closing off the channels of communication and appreciation of another. In short, EGOS EAT BRAINS.

We all have had to deal with egos in our lives. Even more challenging is dealing with the professional egomaniac. The egomaniac is the anti-fireman, who often lead a concerted and strong effort against those working to better themselves. To defeat these oppressive forces we must first understand the importance of humility and how WE can be more humble. To deal with any problem, start with yourself, do

an honest self-evaluation and fix what is wrong.

“No egos” is a mantra and a rule that I have used whenever I teach or when I lead an effort. I recognize that when I have failed in my personal and professional life it is because I did not follow this rule. I let my ego guide my decision making and it negatively affected the outcome every time.

As human beings, we need to force humility in ourselves and in one another. Any allowance for an ego will eventually be taken advantage of. Do not confuse self- confidence with ego. One can be confident in themselves but be humble enough to realize we are imperfect and learn from the imperfections. An ego feeds a false belief that others are the only ones who falter. An ego gives us an overinflated image of ourselves and hides the need for betterment. To become the best that you can be, FORCE HUMILITY.

Humility is defined as: the quality or state of not thinking you are better than other people: the quality or state of being humble. We often use the word humility as a result of an impactful life lesson. As in “the ordeal taught him humility”.

Can we not identify the importance of this quality prior to weathering such a storm in our lives? Humility is the conduit for so many of the vital qualities we need to achieve positivity and success.

Humility provides PERSPECTIVE.

Not just a truer personal perspective but one that allows us to see more clearly the perspective of others. Too often we determine our perspective to be a reality that we force on others. We must be humble enough to seek out differing perspectives. We do not have to agree with but we must respect the perspective of another. Many times this helps to explain one’s actions and helps to foster a resolution. Understanding the perspective of those involved also aids in determining the best course of action. To keep a good perspective, FORCE HUMILITY.

Humility fosters HONESTY.

Honesty means being good and truthful. Honesty must start with oneself for others to recognize you as being honest. An ego will not allow such self-evaluation, rather an ego dwells on being critical of others first.

It is much easier to see the fault in others and to cast the blame their way. It takes mental toughness to be brutally honest with YOURSELF. To maintain honesty in everything that you do, FORCE HUMILITY.

Humility is a vital asset at every point in our careers as firemen. As a rookie, I must understand that I have been given a great honor to prove myself to an organization that has a long and proud tradition. I am a mere drop in a bucket, but how big will my ripple be?

Humility will guide you to learn the basics of the job and will help create a solid foundation to build your entire career on! Know you lack experience, so seek out EVERY opportunity to get experience! Know that you lack the basic Firemanship skills, seek out EVERY opportunity to learn and practice these skills! And be humble enough to accept the mistakes that WE ALL make as rookies. Learning from and moving on from a mistake provides life’s best lessons! If you are unwilling to do so and are not open to constant constructive criticism, you should not make your probationary period. So to be a good rookie fireman, FORCE HUMILITY.

As you progress through your career, the importance of humility INCREASES! Firemanship requires it! It is not the time to down shift or hit cruise control in your career. Simply, never be happy with status quo. To do so you must be a humble professional who takes your job seriously, not yourself. Continue to learn and develop. Teach and challenge yourself in doing things you are not entirely comfortable with.

There are few better ways to better oneself and to learn!

Be a POSTIVE role model for the younger firefighters and be the fireman your officer can count on.

Be open and honest when you make a mistake, seniority does not make you less human! Learn, correct and accept your shortcomings, especially in the company of less senior firefighters. This will harden your team and will bolster the Art of Firemanship within your organization. To be a good fireman, FORCE HUMILITY.

When one achieves rank there is no better tool to become a respected leader than humility. Without it your orders will be empty and the respect shown to you a mirage. It is your job to develop, train and lead FIREMEN. To do so you will have to maintain perspective, be honest, be consistent, be tough and be competent. How do you do all of that without being humble? You must constantly be self- evaluating, the “buck stops with you”!

As an officer, my main goal is to be the type of leader I would want my son or daughter to work for. I would not want them to be coddled, I would want them to be constantly challenged. I would want them to be given the tools to do the job as effectively and safely as possible (please note that effectiveness came first, we do a dangerous job). I would want them to be FIREMEN. A humble leader leads by the greatest example! They develop a positive culture that remains far after they leave! Want to leave a lasting legacy as a leader of firemen? FORCE HUMILITY.

On a personal level, remember that we especially need to be humble in our homes and with our families. To do so makes us better spouses, parents, siblings and friends. To live a good and full life, FORCE HUMILITY.

Sounds pretty easy right? Unfortunately, it is not. As discussed earlier, we are human and an ego is something we will always have to fight within ourselves. Some may read this article and will be more than happy to share examples when I let MY EGO take control. And they would be right, I have made mistakes in the past and I have learned from every one of them. Never let the guard down, especially with yourself!

Now that we have worked on ourselves, let us talk about dealing with the egomaniacs and the negative culture that we as firemen must contend with. First, the egomaniac is typically very easy to pick out. This can work in our favor as we can either steer clear of them or keep a closer eye on their negative motives. They are arrogant and magnetic. They are confrontational and politically savvy. They ask questions like “how many years do YOU have on the job?” Or my favorite, “how many bugles do you have on your badge?” They are constantly ranking themselves against those who threaten them. They like to “put people in their place”. They do not like training and will often berate those that do. When you know everything and have seen it all, why would you need to train? They are the kitchen table “talkers”, relying on storytelling and inflated self-bravado to promote a legendary image of themselves. They are mentally weak and will lash out to anyone that has the audacity to challenge them. They are “school yard bullies” and unfortunately they can gain quite a following of likeminded (weak) people.

When the egomaniac reaches a senior position or, God forbid, a position of rank, they can negatively impact an entire department. They spread a sickness that seeps into every pore and can last for decades. Egomaniacs lay egomaniac eggs. They are negative role models and others carry their torch.

United in negativity, the egomaniac clan seek out and attempt to destroy those different than them, the firemen. So how do we fight against such negativity? First, isolate yourself with those that are like YOU. I have used the “bubble” analogy to help keep myself sane under such attacks. In my “bubble” I am responsible for my actions and those who work with me. I control what I do in my “bubble”. The “bubble” can be your company, your shift or your department. What happens outside of your bubble is out of your control and should not affect you. You see another shift or company full of egomaniacs having their way? Good, be glad that you are not part of them and that you can use their negative behavior as a lesson in what not to do.

Control what you can control and make yourself the best that you can be! What happens when those negative forces enter or “pop your bubble”? Then you ACT and DEFEND yourself, but be prepared for a fight.

As we have said before, egomaniacs are bullies and operate as such. They pick on the weak and avoid the strong. Stand up for your principles and fight the good fight! Humility provides a secret weapon that they will never have! Others will clearly see the difference between the humble professional and the loud mouth bully, but be prepared that some “good” people may be swayed.

The egomaniac bully can be an attractive personality to some. We see it in human nature all the time. Remember the locker room in high school when the bully would have a laughing crowd cheering on as they picked on their target? Unfortunately, this same response happens in our firehouses. Expect the bully to be loud and confrontational (even bordering on physical intimidation), remember that they have to demonstrate this drama to all. This demonstration helps to hide their faults (lack of humility and self-confidence) and helps to deter others from challenging them in the future.

After seeing you, a good fireman, receive such treatment, why would anyone in their right mind ever challenge the egomaniac? For this you must STAND STRONG, hold your ground and defend the GOOD. Do not engage in their slander and put downs, but instead calmly defend yourself. You will not win a battle of negativity. Be objective, truthful and honest. Use the tools that they do not have at their disposal.

Once defeated be prepared for the ego driven bully to try to cast themselves as the VICTIM! Unbelievable as it may sound, it will happen. Even more concerning will be the amount people that actually believe it. They will even include those victimized by the bully and those who you thought were on your side. This will be disappointing and very frustrating to watch happen.

Many lose their fortitude and actually concede their defense to the bully. Do not concede! Do not give up, the bully is on the ropes and is grasping at straws. Their support will be short-lived, especially in contrast to your positive behavior. Understand and forgive those who crossed sides, they are only human. Most importantly, forgive the bully and understand that they are deeply troubled.

MOVE FORWARD, continue to operate as you have in the past. Do not speak ill of others or rehash the confrontation. These actions will speak to your humility and character. When confronting a storm of negativity, FORCE HUMILITY.

In closing, focus on yourself and how YOU can be better.

Do not blame and point the finger before you have checked yourself.

Disconnect yourself from a problem so you can see every possible perspective.

Be honest with your assessment of yourself.

Be honest with others and act with integrity.

Stay positive, fight negativity.

Surround yourself with likeminded firemen. They can provide you shelter and will help to fuel the fire within!

Be that person for someone else. Defend those who cannot or are unwilling to defend themselves.

Learn every day and make yourself better.

Lead by example, by actions not words.

Give others the credit and with passion congratulate those who do the right thing!

Be a mentor, be a friend. Be a FIREMAN!FORCE HUMILITY.