The Mirror
Mirrors are part of our everyday lives. They help us in so many ways. One could almost say that the mirror has become a fabric of our culture. There is one adage that remains true: mirrors never lie. We have all put on clothes that we thought made us look great only to look at ourselves in the mirror and immediately change.
Mirrors do that. They help us look better. They also remind us of our physical imperfections; those extra pounds, a little grayer, or a little less hair on top, or more in places where we don’t want more. We are masters at using mirrors to see what is outside. How many of us can use a mirror to truly look at ourselves on the inside?
Internal self-evaluation is one of the most difficult things a person can do. Many times, it goes against what we know or what we are comfortable with. We are uncomfortable because we are afraid that we might not like what we see. True self-evaluation means allowing yourself to be vulnerable. That is something that opens us up to criticism and self-doubt. It also means that you might have to admit to yourself that you haven’t been doing things right, or worse, that you are bad at something.
Firefighters are innately type A personalities. We strive to be great at what we do because so many people rely on us. Being told that we suck at something is very hard to hear. This is especially true if it’s in front of our peers. Being told that we suck on a personal level is something no one wants to hear. As officers it can be even worse. We work so hard to get promoted that often we think that just because we passed the test we are ready to do the job. While we might have tons of book and practical knowledge, how many of us truly have what it takes to be a leader from day one?
I was promoted to Lieutenant after 6 years on the job. I became an officer in a much shorter time than I wanted. I asked other officers for advice.
I asked senior firefighters what they looked for in a good officer before I was promoted. When I received my bugles, I felt I was ready to be one of the great ones. My first shift, I had a blow up with a respected senior man. I dug my heels in and stood my ground. I was the officer, he needed to follow orders. That should’ve been my first red flag. I handled the situation poorly and instead of turning him into an asset, I pushed him away. He has retired and sadly to this day we do not speak. I had other instances where I didn’t handle things the way I should have. That is not to say that I didn’t have a few successful moments. However, I was developing a reputation as an authoritarian hot head. Guys were bidding off my shift. I would jab at the other lieutenant on my shift that he had it easy, because he worked with 2 amazing firemen. After attending the Fully Involved leadership class, I realized that I maybe needed to look inside myself and change.
Change is never easy. Making changes in yourself is even more difficult. I looked in the mirror
and saw that I was a horrible officer!! I saw that my pride and inability to be imperfect made me someone that guys didn’t want to work with.
That hit me in the gut. I began to read. I began to re-examine how I handled things. When I was promoted to Captain three years later I was forced to move shifts. I would wind up on a shift where the Battalion Chief was someone who I swore I would never work for, but we seemed to have the same mindset on what direction we wanted to shift to go. Right off the bat I had 2 guys bid off the shift, leaving 3 and 3 open spots. The thing about change is that it often takes time to see the results. I adopted a mindset: the people, each other, the department. We would treat the people we serve like they were members of our family. We would always take care of and look out for one another. We would never do anything to make the department look bad. I set out expectations I had for them, and expectations that they should have for me. We agreed that we would check each other when needed. We periodically met and I encouraged them to provide feedback on how things were going. I would make changes and adjustments to what I was doing based on their feedback. I also made sure to do everything I could to make them better. Their failures were mine as their Captain.
‘If you build it, they will come’ is a famous line from the movie ‘Field of Dreams’. Today, every front line bid spot in my station, on my shift, is filled. I am very fortunate today that I work with a tremendous group of guys. They range in seniority from 21 years to a probie with 6 months on. We laugh and joke. No one is above getting their chops busted. The men take the job very seriously and give everything to it. The mindset established has been accepted.
None of this would have happened if I didn’t look in the mirror and allow myself to see my faults. The road hasn’t been easy. I have had to learn humility. I have had to learn servant leadership. It is something that constantly needs to be worked on. My Ladder driver still needs to remind me to take a breath from time to time. One of my senior men knows when to step in and talk to a resident when things seem to be going south. The most important thing is that I have gained the trust of my guys. Once you gain that, you will never have to assert yourself as an officer. I hope that I have established myself as a leader in their eyes. At the end of the day, it’s their opinions that matter the most. Oh, and that Battalion Chief who I swore I’d never work for has now become one of my greatest sources of mentorship and a good friend.
There is no magic formula to becoming a good leader. It does take work. Social media has allowed to us to portray ourselves in an artificial way. It has allowed us to build bigger walls around us and has made us less open to being vulnerable. This presents an additional obstacle we must overcome. To become a good officer and leader, we must allow ourselves to be vulnerable and imperfect. That will allow those around us to do the same. We must never lose sight that it’s about them and not you. We must take ownership for our actions and for those we wish to lead.
The journey is not an easy one. You will encounter setbacks and frustration. However, if you stay the course the result is worth it. So I challenge you to look in the mirror and see who you truly are.